ONE MONTH TO GO - AND A NEW CHALLENGE!

LEJOG - THE BOOK


I woke up this morning and the first words out of my mouth were "Don't be an arsehole today." I tried but it was difficult (I'm a professional telemarketer which scores highly on the a'hole scale). When I'm not doing office work I go walking in the country and make up stories about dangerous sea creatures, yogurt and passive-aggressive telemarketers. I thought it would be a good idea to combine these two hobbies into one - I don't mean being an arsehole while walking/writing, I mean writing a book while walking LEJOG. 

The challenge: to write a book while walking 1,000 miles in 6 weeks. That's 166 miles a week. 24 miles per day. 8 hours per day at 3 miles an hour. 1 mile every 20 minutes. The book must be over 40,000 words. That's a minimum of 40 words a mile.  

FAQs:


1) What does FAQ stand for? F*** Al Qaeda? Frequently assaulted queers? No, it's a symbol of laziness showing that the writer couldn't be bothered to write something out in full. FYI you won't get any of that corner-cutting with this LEJOGER. 

2) Do I walk and write at the same time? No, walking and writing at the same time doesn't work because it's too messy and I trip over stuff (yes I've tried this and no it didn't work). Plus all I get is a smudged jumble of shite. I have a journal and a pen in my pack. Mostly I use a dictaphone. 

3) Why LEJOG? I'm a distance walker and LEJOG is the most famous distance walk in the UK. It's a badge of honour. If I can walk LEJOG I'll never have to prove anything to myself again. 

4) Are you doing this for charity? Because so many people have asked me that it would be a shame to waste this opportunity to raise money for a good cause. My chosen charity is Helping Hands for the Blind, a small charity doing important work for people in need. You can make a donation here: DONATE (you may wish to add SAM LEJOG as a message).

5) What sort of books do I write? I wrote a historical novel a while back. Currently I write experimental cross-genre fiction and this self-publicity might bump me over the a'hole line but without a reputation it's been impossible to attract the attention of a literary agent to push my books to publishers so I thought sod it, I'll publish my books myself. That does away with the need to kiss the arse of literary agents and shove my books into irritatingly precise boxes called genres that help publishers sell stuff. Unfortunately by doing that I am on my own. I am in the same position as a grain of sand on a beach - there but unseen. How do I become the pretty sea shell or ornate rock that attracts a passing beach comber's attention? I have to do something that no one else has done before. Lots of walkers have successfully walked LEJOG. Someone has walked LEJOG holding a door, pushing a bed, backwards etc...but no one as far as I am aware has written a book while walking LEJOG.

6) What was my last book about? My last book has been compared to A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. You'll like it if you have office-space fantasies about passive-aggression, violent telemarketing, fish-gut eating colleagues, accidental asylum claims or yogurt abuse. Would it make you happy if an uncategorised terrestrial intelligence directed an object from space to obliterate the address of your enemy? Does the possibility that your building might have human sacrifices buried alive underneath it excite you? Then let me send you a free copy!  

Email me: lejog2017@outlook.com and I will send you a copy (not a paperback -  I know, how disappointing!). 

 Please leave a review on Amazon and rate it. Is it shit? Say so! Did you like it? Tell us why! Got a friend who likes reading? Send it to them! 

 You can find my book on Amazon

If you're old school and can't read off a screen then say so and when eventually I can fork out the money to have this printed as a paperback, I'll let you know.  

And yes, there is one month to go until I begin my walk from Land's End to John o'Groats. 

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